I just passed my 65th birthday. Most people my age (those that are still around) are planning their last day at work, where they’ll go and what they’ll do for their ‘Golden Years’. I don’t have that option. I was so clueless and directionless in my 30s, 40s and into my 50s, that I have next to nothing saved up and I can’t really afford to retire. However, I don’t really want to, either, and that’s a good thing. I’m a writer, and writers don’t retire. They have to be carried out, as a rule. Stephen King has ‘retired’ at least three times that I’m aware of, and he just keeps coming back. Hint: it’s not the money – he has plenty. I’m actually waltzing through my mid-60s with a positive attitude and a smile on my face. Reason? Habits.
Like most people, I wasted every New Year’s Eve trying to come up with a set of resolutions that I could stick to – goals I could achieve – so I could win for bloody once. Never worked out. I never lost those 20 pounds, never wrote that massive bestseller, never met my financial goals … you get the picture. Then, a few years ago, I had a little moment of clarity. I managed to run a marathon in 2006 because I trained for it. By running a little farther, training a little harder every week, and running shorter races – I ended up running two half marathons and a full marathon. I thought, what if I could do that kind of thing again, but instead, just make a couple of simple habits and keep up on them? So, I started going to the gym (at least once a week), started reading more, and started a daily writing practice. The changes have taken a while, but what a difference!
I’m feeling stronger and more creative than ever. I’ve written not one, but three books (one’s a novella), I’m losing weight, gaining strength and regaining my balance and flexibility. Because I started reading a random manga called Blue Period, I’m starting back into my artwork. This is crazy! All the things I agonized over for years are happening, almost without conscious effort. I have to wonder how long this upward swing can continue – but then I remember something I just read.
I’m reading Atomic Habits by James Clear – in it, he says that there is a watershed moment that takes place weeks, months or sometimes years after you set up a positive habit. Before that point, your returns are disappointing – after that, they go exponential. I’ve been writing for seven years, working out for four years and changed my eating habits four months ago. There was no change happening before now, but now everything seems to be changing at once. It’s a little frightening and a lot exciting.
Of course, there are also several bad habits that I have to get rid of, and those can be tough. The problem is due to the fact that habits are designed to be automatic, even invisible. There was a reason you wanted to do the thing (the cue), a motivating need or hunger (craving), an action toward the thing (response), and the result (reward). All parentheses incorporate the terms James Clear uses. If you don’t tackle the bad habits at the cue level, it’s tough to cancel or reverse them. This requires mindfulness and effort – most people don’t wanna. I have to cut way back on (or quit altogether) cigars and alcohol, YouTube videos and eromanga (those of you who know what that is, shame on you!) Since these habits were born out of a response to boredom or frustration, I have to create new habits to take their place. I haven’t decided what, yet. But then, that’s half the fun.
James Clear wrote his book at about the same time that I was discovering these principles, so I’m not really jealous that he’s getting the credit (and money) for it. I highly recommend that you read his book. It can be a bit technical in places, but it’s well written. However, he would agree with me that goal setting does very few people any good – only those people who respond strongly to challenges. On the other hand, conscious habit-forming is one of the best ways to accomplish anything you may wish. And anyone can do it. Simply work backwards.
Start off with an idea of what you want to be (forget individual goals), then what kind of person you would have to become to do that. What would that person do on a regular basis? How would they exercise, how would they eat, what would they do to relax? Once you have set up that image in your head, start building habits that would make you more like that person. Start small. Don’t try to run a marathon next month, instead start training to run one six months from now. Suddenly, you’re a runner. How did that happen? Small changes applied daily. And do yourself a favor – make it fun. If you try to make a habit out of something you really don’t like, the habit won’t last long.
James Clear says that if you can manage to improve anything you do by 1% per day, at the end of a year, you’ll become 37 times better at it than you are now. However, by letting a bad habit persist without changing it, you will drop into the gutter in no time. That’s pretty clear. I have become stronger, healthier, happier and more accomplished because I built a couple of small habits and kept after them. That same power, those same results, can be yours. Just change a habit or two.
Be well.
bcd