What is ceremony? Is it a culmination – a stage set with chairs, filled with nervous graduates listening to some ‘important’ person drone on about a nebulous future? Does it happen on a dais in a church or synagogue, trying to show us the way to God? Is it the annual tipsy revelry closing one year and moving into the next? A funeral service? Is it all of those? None of them? Why do we care?
Ceremony goes to the heart of us. We need ceremony, need to have those commas, those periods in our lives. We have always had ceremonies. But all the old ceremonies are gone, forgotten, or turned into dirty jokes. The ceremonies we are given are meant to keep us prisoners, meant to keep us working at meaningless jobs and spending our paychecks to make a privileged few very rich. We know this at some level, but we still cling to these ceremonies – because ceremony is the words cut in stone, a sign of life, a sign that we were here. Whether we admit it or not, ceremonies are important.
Some are tiny ceremonies, like opening a new can of coffee and stopping to inhale the odor of fresh ground nirvana. There are large ceremonies, like the breaking of a bottle of champagne over the bow of a newly launched battleship. There are secret ceremonies, public ceremonies, religious and civil and institutional ceremonies. But many, if not all, of these ceremonies have ceased to have any meaning for many people. Why is that?
Our world and our lives are changing rapidly. People’s eyes are being opened to the realities of the quickly morphing world around them. Whether you like it or not, no matter how old you are, nothing you remember from your childhood will have any relevance in the next ten years or so. When you’re sitting in a rollercoaster, you have no choice where the car is going. Your choices boil down to opening your eyes wide to see what’s coming next or shutting your eyes tight. Don’t close your eyes.
Technology is evolving as you watch. Systems of work, of education, of government are falling apart in front of us and being reborn as something new. The gentrification of the entire human race has begun. In order to be certain that we leave no person or group behind in this mad stumble into the future, we have to consciously create the systems, institutions and ceremonies that we want to have. Any framework constructed by random chance will be dangerous and possibly fatal to those who use it. If we start by creating ceremonies, I think (paradoxically) that we will also create the systems and institutions we need to go with them. So, what sort of ceremonies should we create?
To begin, no ceremony which institutionalizes or celebrates hatred should survive. That means hatred of anyone or any group. Our world can no longer tolerate the concept of Us versus Them. It’s only Us. Our ceremonies must be inclusive, not exclusive.
Ceremonies mark transitions in our lives. For instance, it has been too long since we had a ritual for crossing into manhood. As it turns out, we need one. There is good reason to believe that the lack of a ceremony or ritual ushering boys into manhood may be part of the broken narrative which results in gun violence and ‘toxic masculinity’. However, I think we’re well past the point where the young man should be sent out on his first tiger hunt. I also believe there should be a rite of womanhood, totally unconnected with any male ritual.
Not sure what marriage ceremonies are going to look like in the coming years. I just know that they will continue to be popular. It would also be nice if they were more about the couple and less about the money spent.
Religion is not going away anytime soon and shouldn’t. At its best, religion points us toward what we can become. But I think even religions should examine their ceremonies to be certain that they spread love, not hatred of others.
With the educational system changing at every level, it seems likely that the cumbersome and largely silly graduation ceremony will simply vanish. I’m not sure that any ceremony will rise to replace it. I’m also pretty sure I hope nothing does.
Secret societies should probably just go away as well. Not that it isn’t kinda cool to have a secret handshake, an exclusive clubhouse and a Wham-O decoder ring, but let’s not get ugly with it. Any group that has to have secret rituals as part of their membership drive is asking for trouble in the Age of the Internet.
I won’t even get into my least favorite topic: politics. Though I will say that if we never have to watch another stupid and wasteful Democratic or Republican National Convention, I don’t think anyone will miss them.
For the future, let’s not create ceremonies that celebrate institutions or governments or businesses. We need to leave the 18th and 19th centuries behind. Let’s create ceremonies that celebrate people – especially individuals. Because in celebrating individuals, their achievements and passages, we celebrate all of us. In that way, I think we can satisfy our ancient tribal urges for recognition, while also connecting to the world at large.
We need ceremonies, they’re a part of our genetic heritage, in a way. But we need ceremonies that strengthen Us as Us. Ceremonies should remind us of what it is to be a human amongst other humans.
Be well.
bcd