How to Pray

            It strikes me that most people really don’t have a good idea of how to pray. Especially Christians. My church has been running a series on prayer, and while it’s quite good, I think it still misses the mark a little. Before I go further, I should remind you, the reader – this is my blog, I am a practicing Christian, so if you’re going to insist on getting offended by religious topics, I have a recommendation for you. Stop reading now and go find someone else to read. We’ll all be happier. Thank you. Back to the topic of prayer.

            Let’s explore this for a bit. Jesus was very clear in his position that great shows of piety and prayer in public in general was no bueno. He also didn’t seem to have much to say about forms of prayer. And yet, his disciples were so impressed by his prayer results that they asked him to teach them how to pray. As a response, he gave them the Lord’s Prayer. This brief little document is almost a joke – it touches on general concerns lightly and never dives deep into anything. It takes less than a minute to say. But it’s been held up for centuries as the paragon of prayer. The church even turned it into a rote prayer – kind of like a Buddhist mantra. In fact, it’s only been in the last 50 years or so that Christians have decided that ‘prayer is conversation with God’. While this has been a very liberating concept, and I agree that it’s true (as far as it goes), it seems incomplete. Modern attempts at prayer seem stilted or awkward – like trying to talk to someone at a party who doesn’t really want to talk to you. Lots of uncomfortable silences. It seems we’re doing it wrong, but how do we pray correctly?

            I think that, as usual, Christ was giving us a shorthand for prayer in the Lord’s Prayer. He never said twenty words when 5 would do. Many people over the years have tried to break down and examine the blueprint, with mixed results. Here’s my take.

            “Our Father in Heaven, Holy is your name.”

            A simple address, naming God as Father and praising His holy name. Always a good idea to make it clear that we don’t think we’re anything special as compared to Him.

            “May your Kingdom come, and Your Will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.”

            This part kinda clears the board of any attempt on our part to tell God what he needs to do to straighten out all these clods and fools who think they’re running things. Just leave it to Him. His solution will be a whole lot better than anything we could come up with.

            “Please give us the food we need to live today.”

            Can’t get much more direct than that. And just food. No cars or houses or status items, no lottery wins or easy money. Please give us what we actually need. As a side note, this little phrase leads into a central tenet of the idea of ‘living by faith’. Don’t have time for that right now.

            “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.”

            This is a tough one. We want forgiveness from Him, but we understand – and state – that His forgiveness of us should match our forgiveness of others. Ouch. It implies a contract.

            “Please don’t bring us to hard testing but save us from all evil.”

            A lot of people are under the mistaken impression that God tests us to find out what we’re made of. Not true. He tests us to show US what we’re made of. The last part is just reminding Him of his promise to protect us from evil. Doesn’t say anything about whether or not we’re smart enough not to walk into the situation in the first place.

And then (the later addition):

            “For the Kingdom, the Power and the Glory are Yours, now and forever. Amen.”

            More praise, right at the end, added by a later hand, apparently for good measure.

            Okay, can we all agree that this is the boilerplate version of what prayer should be? Fine. Look at it again – no wasted time, no wasted words, no magic spells. Hmm… Let me explain that last bit. Throughout the Bible, God makes it very clear that he doesn’t like magic. And yet, Jesus, Moses, the prophets and the apostles all had signs and wonders clustering around them. What gives? What’s the difference, after all, between magic and miracles? Even Simon the magician was confused in the book of Acts. It’s not really about the power itself, or how it’s used. It’s all about how you get the power.

            See, miracles are handed out directly from God, not conjured by humans. It’s His idea. The ‘miracle worker’ may know a miracle is on the way, but they may not know what it is or who’s receiving it. A magician tries to bribe or cajole or pressure God into doing what the magician wants. That is why it’s bad – you’re wrenching the power out of God’s hands. I think a lot of Christians today are guilty of praying in this way – trying to bribe or cajole or pressure God into doing what they want, rather than trusting that He has the best in mind for them. In short, a certain kind of Christian thinks they’re praying, when what they’re really doing is practicing magic. This does not make God happy.

            So, where are we? When you pray, start and end with praise. This does not have to be a huge display, because it’s not for God – it’s for you. To remind you that he is in control, and to remind you to take an ‘attitude of gratitude’. Yeah, I know – too much sugar – but it’s the truth. Don’t tell Him what you think ought to be done, just bring your concerns to Him. Don’t tell Him how you think things should work out – ask Him. Say please. Don’t spend a lot of time wailing to Him about how poor you are – He knows what you need. And what you really don’t need. And ask for forgiveness, even if – especially if – you don’t think you need forgiving. I promise, you do. No one is so good that they don’t mess up on a daily basis. We all do it. And remember to forgive everyone who injures you or slights you in any way at all. Even the people you’re pretty sure you’ll never see again. Forgiveness isn’t for them – it’s for you. More on that later.

            And think about this: most people have to learn how to carry on a conversation with other people. How much more do we have to learn about carrying on a conversation with God? We’re really bad at this. Most people spend the time other people are talking trying to come up with a pithy rebuttal. You think about three times faster than you talk, after all. And that doesn’t even count the nimrods who are just waiting for a lull in the conversation to pick up their story where they left off. They aren’t even listening. That’s not a conversation, it’s a one-man-show. Boring. How much worse are we at this when ‘talking to God’? More like talking AT Him. The reason we generally don’t hear from God is not because He isn’t responding – we’re talking over Him.

            Be silent. Wait. Listen for His response. He will talk to you if you can turn down the noise in your own head. If you find you can’t silence your inner monologue, ask Him for help with that. You probably won’t ‘hear’ actual words, at least not at first. He is much more likely to lead your thoughts in a certain direction or give you little flashes of insight. When you’ve learned to pay attention to those, He will start teaching you how to hear His voice. He knows very well how unnerving it is for most people to hear the voice of God. He’ll train you if you let Him.

            I cannot claim to hear the physical voice of God. I have never heard actual words striking my ears. On the other hand, I can ‘feel’ what He is saying to me. I can sense when He is pleased or displeased with what I am saying. This has been very helpful. Oh, and here’s a hint – He won’t always tell you what you want to hear. He will tell you what you need to hear. If what you’re hearing rankles your pride – that’s almost always the voice of God. He has very little patience with our vaunted pride. Let those who can understand, hear what I’m saying.

            pax et ama

            bcd