Life really isn’t all that tough. Granted, not having any money or being really ill or living under a brutal government can be a severe trial – but most people don’t have to contend with anything so ugly. Living boils down to some pretty simple steps – obvious stuff, really.
Rules for Living –
- Always have a job to do. Work isn’t just something we humans do to provide for our families or to make money or to impress others. Work is very good for us. It makes us think, it stretches muscles, and it makes us feel better about ourselves. So does walking, by the way. Nobel-Prize winning physicists have often taken long walks (miles) every day, because it helps them think better. We are built to walk, we are made to work – do both.
- Read everything. I have a personal beef against ‘spoon-fed’ entertainment, but that’s my quirk. I understand that videos and games and audio entertainment are the rule of the day, but it’s not sufficient. Your brain is not fully engaged in any of those activities the way it is when you read. Studies are coming out now that show that your brain actually grows and grows in complexity when you read. And don’t just read what you’ve read before – expand your horizons. Read the stuff that you sneered at in school – most of it is pretty good. And something amazing happens when you read – you start to learn.
- Keep a journal. The first conversation you must have is with yourself – write down everything you think, everything you believe, all your gripes and triumphs. Come back and read it over again a week, a month or a year later. You’ll be surprised at how your thinking has changed. And how silly some of your ‘very serious’ ideas really are. It also helps tremendously to have a place to keep your truly good ideas, so you don’t lose them.
- Love your family. I’m not saying don’t fight – we always disagree most intensely with the people we are closest to – just don’t let anger push you apart. We are given families as laboratories to learn what love truly is, and it’s not just warm feelings. Love breaks down barriers between people and within people. Remember – the way we love best is to treat others as we would wish to be treated. Always choose to love – it’s the most radical and dangerous thing you can do.
- Get out the door and engage with others. Humans are social animals; we need contact with other humans in order to thrive. And I’m sorry, Skype and Discord don’t really count. Sure, you’re talking to someone else ‘in real time’ – but they’re not really there, are they? (Strictly texting is stupid – you’re putting yourself in a very small box.) Communication happens on a dozen levels at once – sight, smell, subtle cues and broad strokes and all in the space of a heartbeat. And speaking face to face to others is public speaking on a small scale – it grows your courage.
- Find your tribe. Humans are also tribal beings. Our society ascribes the most success to those who influence vast groups of people and who have hundreds of people on their ‘friends list’. That is actually toxic. No matter what dreams of fame and glory you may have, you will always function best and grow best amongst a small group of your peers and friends. Again, I’m not saying to exclude everyone outside of your little circle – that’s just as damaging. But find the people you can be your most authentic self with and help them be their truest selves as well. Always choose love.
- Pray. As you work yourself out of your illusions of superiority and personal solitary awesomeness, you begin to understand that there truly is an element to the universe – a Being, if you will – that we can neither see nor understand, let alone control. You will find your own way into a relationship with this Being, and you may even find your way into belief in a religion (it does help for certain things), but contact this Being as soon as you can, as often as you can. Just pray – there are no rules for this. By the way, reliance on a Higher Power does not make you weak – we start out weak, it just takes some people a long time to understand that – it actually helps you get far stronger, but in a way where your pride is not involved. That’s actually good for you.
- Think for Yourself. This is one of my most repeated maxims, and for good reason. Very few people have the guts to do their own thinking, usually letting other people do their thinking for them. That’s how slavery starts. But democracy, and indeed freedom, requires a population that can make intelligent decisions based on facts. Tyrants try to convince you that thinking is too difficult, you should leave the job to them. Don’t let them win. Whether in the boardroom, on the playground or in the bars and clubs – loud, pushy, violent people will try to intimidate you. But a thinking person is more powerful than a strong man – they know this and fear them.
- Create. Sing, write, draw, dance – even if you only sing in the shower, write in a private journal, draw stick figures or dance like an old white man (me) – create something every chance you get. It is the key to joy.
Okay, that’s the simplest list I could come up with, and I promise you it cost me a lot of embarrassment, anguish and time to find out these truths. Other people will tell you lots of other things, changing words around, adding in their own steps, what have you. But I’m fairly certain that if you start with these principles and try your best to hurt no one on your journey, that you’ll find your own way.
Good fortune and good journey.
TGC